How I save my mental energy.

Number one: Practice mindfulness

When you put yourself out for others without practice of any mindfulness your soon be drained when you don’t know how to protect yourself.

Number two: Give permission.

Give yourself permission to help others but always close the doors after, by this I mean tell yourself they do not have permission to use your energy. You can practice this with meditation.

Number three: Acknowledgement.

Ever get the feeling of anger or sadness over come you so strong for no reason? Acknowledge your environment be present your come to find you are taking in someone else’s emotions like a sponge and acknowledgement is a step closer to controlling it.

Remind yourself of these three rules daily and you will find that it really helps you be who you want to be.

I sometimes still let people in and I can become very fatigued so When I step aside and practice this everything makes sense again.

Today I have given time to myself that means no one else’s energy has permission to enter mine and if that means spending time alone with just me and the pup then so be it.

My wild flowers.

I’m energy saving for the next day and that is important. you will find your way of saving energy and mine is being with nature.

Finding small hobbies have saved me from wasting time over thinking keep yourself busy and use your energy on something beautiful that deserves it.

Dealing with Anxiety in today’s society.

Learning how to fit into a society with crippling anxiety is draining , somedays every thought it consumed by your other self who whispers irrational ideas in your head , creates paranoia and self doubt.

Anxiety is not what society typically describes as your panic attack scenario, it creeps out in other ways, you can forget who your true self is when your anxiety infests your brain like a parasite.

Some people have anxiety due to trauma , some people have anxiety that comes along with depression, some people suffer with it every day and some may suffer from anxiety for just one day.

It is different for every indiviual.

They tell you “do breathing exercises , eat healthier , get to bed early and don’t drink caffeine” you can invest all the time in the world reading self help books, meditate , exercise and stay away from negative people.

You know you can improve your anxiety but its there for life it may come to stay for just a while then leave again. You can feel so alone all your friends are moving forward they have their lives under control but what about mine?

You feel guilty that you have no reason to feel this way, your life is good and you should be grateful for all you have.

You make your self ill with worry and your body listens , your immune system is low and you are exhausted from the insomnia.

This is how I often feel , I know their are other young people like me and I hope just expressing how it feels to be suffering from anxiety alleviates you when you feel alone.

I have quit two job’s because the environment was not helping my mental health , I have gone without money because I know my sanity is more important.

My big step to recovery is excepting that this is who I am , I except I cannot work in certain environments, I except that working long hours does not benefit me, I except that I need help and support from professionals and I am very lucky to have the support from my partner, family and friends.

My next step is finding the Job that will save me from my own anxiety disorder.

When I found out I was an Empath.

An empath is someone who takes on others emotions, it can become so draining and exhausting that most people say it has a negative effect on them, it had on me the last couple of years working in a profession that was high pressured to give adequate medical care to peoples beloved pets in a highly demanding job.

When one team member would have a bad day soon after I was too, it was a ripple affect I came into work feeling fine and confident now all of a sudden I have taken on the persons emotions. It was normal to effect the rest of the team when someone was down in the dumps but I would take this emotion home with me and replay it like pressing a button over and over again.

It was easier when on a shift “out the back” you could chat to your team member and support each other through the day and of course animals never gave off the same emotional attack humans did.

Being on shift on “the front line” I was an emotional sponge for up to 100 people a day I would go home with migraines and started to have night terrors, you could feel the emotions of up to 30 people in one waiting room once a client leaves another would turn up for a appointment.

The same would happen on a night shift with the constant emergency calls.

I have always been an emotional person I cry a drop of a hat, I am sensitive !

One day I spoke to my parents I told them that when someone is in emotional pain I instantly feel their pain, it wasn’t the saying “ow I feel bad for you” I had terrible pains in my chest, it would be a person walking by I don’t know and I would feel this pain when I look at them. I would sense if the person was troubled.

I could also tell you when a certain person is fake and not genuine, the amount of times no one has believed me about “their new friend” who then turns out not a very good person.

Thats when my dad told me I am an empath, call it what you want sensitive or overly emotional i’m going to find the positives in being one.

My sweet Nan and Dad pictured below.

My Career

Veterinary Nursing Assistant

How many times me and my friends have to explain “no we are not veterinary surgeons” when explaining that we are also not veterinary nurses it all gets very confusing for everyone, We end up telling them we are like Health care assistants but for animals.

Being a veterinary nursing assistant isn’t always a recognised profession, it is only really heard of in the uk and even then private veterinary practices don’t employ us. You will find us working at big charity hospitals like the Blue cross, PDSA, RSPCA. I have 3 1/2 years experience working at a busy hospital doing long shifts and night shifts included.

I qualified late last year and earned my badge I finally had the qualification to start a great career little did I know that I was struggling with my mental health after working so hard I found that my job was effecting me severely , so for now I have decided to take time away from being a veterinary nursing assistant and start a new journey (to have a break from my previous role) and take on the role as a veterinary receptionist.

Who knows what my future holds ? I may move away from the veterinary profession all together or go on to do my Veterinary Nursing, it is a confusing time for me at the moment and I don’t want to make a decision.