High school sweethearts

9 years in November, don’t ask us what date it was because we have forgotten it!

We made up a date for the 23rd of November a couple of years back just so we can celebrate it, we don’t really celebrate anything else properly not valentines day nor birthdays as big as our anniversary.

We met at school in maths, growing up together my partner always knew who he was within himself, full of confidence and didn’t care about being judged.

Me I didn’t want to be judged by no-one I would just do and say what everyone else was doing, smoking yep I’d do that if they were, drinking , I would lie to Niall alot you know your typical teenager stuff.

Me and Niall ages 15 (photoshoot for my dads acting projects)

moving on fast forwarding to only a couple of years ago (I’m feeling 22 haha) my partner was living with his dad and step mum and I lived with my Mum and dad.

We both had a chat and decided to open a joint savings account we sat there and calculated if we put this amount in a month each it will take us 5 years to save for a deposit while living at home, it seems like a long time but we were excited. Off to the bank we went and we put our first 150 pounds each in.

We got to about 2 grand after about 6 months I was studying and working at the same time on low wages and he worked full time so for us this was great.

Mine and Niall first holiday to Turkey.

Than my partner recieved the bad news his dad was diagnosed with aggressive cancer.

The prognosis wasn’t good he had approximately 5-8 weeks to live he only lasted 5 weeks. He passed away at home.

Everything was so different from then on for them, I couldn’t imagine the pain that him and his sister were feeling.

All I could do was just be there for them even if it was in silence we would all go to a cafe just sit ,think and stare into space.

For me his family was my family I had grown up with them, unfortunately all he really had left was his sister, grandad and a few family members who lived miles away on the isle of wight.

Niall his dad Mike and sister Dee on Mikes wedding day in Crete June 2016

My partner and his sister didn’t always see eye to eye with their step mum, either did I at times, most the time things were kept neutral but once his father passed things changed. after 3-4 weeks tension built and his sister was chucked out with no where to go, they hadn’t even gone back to work yet.

He couldn’t leave his sister chucked out while he lived cosy and warm in his room around his step mum, it didn’t sit right with his morals.

What they have achieved since.

Niall moved in with me and my parents and his sister Dee luckily had a good friend to take her in. The money was lost that we saved so we started fresh.

You could say they have been dragged through the bushes backwards but they have come out the other end a stronger person.

Niall works so hard his best friend has given him an apprenticeship in mechanics that is keeping him busy, he previously worked at a auction house and has got a license to ride a motorbike. My dad and himself have a great bond and spend hours in the garden pottering about in the shed, we recently got engaged and we are saving to move out again.

Both of us now.

We have a great relationship with his sister Dee she comes round to visit me and my mum often for dinner , we always make time to see each other chatting about future weddings, babies and our dogs. All three of us travel to the isle of Wight to visit their Grandad often and Dee has recently got excepted into university for adult Nursing.

Dee runs for charity in memory of her father she has raised a lot of money for the hospice her father wanted to spend his last days at but sadly didn’t make it.

To me family is so important don’t wait till you lose a loved one to realise it, in a way the passing of my father in-law has pulled us all together, we all appreciate each other more, every day is a blessing. They have both made amazing achievements I am so proud of them both.

This is only a story about how I observed the passing of my father in-law I hope to one day write about it from their words and how they remember the event and coped with the loss of their father.

This blog was going to be about me and Niall but as I sit here writing about us I realised that the event taken place in his life had also effected us as a couple, everyone has an impact on your life that you may not even know about, it has transformed us into an unbreakable couple and family.

Although sadly Mike will miss the big achievements his children will make would they follow the path they are following today if he was beside them.

I believe the change in their mind set has given them opportunity to make these achievements, the saying of “you got nothing to lose” does apply to their life.

In Loving memory of a great father who enjoyed his holidays in the sun, loved his beer, football and a hot curry.

When I found out I was an Empath.

An empath is someone who takes on others emotions, it can become so draining and exhausting that most people say it has a negative effect on them, it had on me the last couple of years working in a profession that was high pressured to give adequate medical care to peoples beloved pets in a highly demanding job.

When one team member would have a bad day soon after I was too, it was a ripple affect I came into work feeling fine and confident now all of a sudden I have taken on the persons emotions. It was normal to effect the rest of the team when someone was down in the dumps but I would take this emotion home with me and replay it like pressing a button over and over again.

It was easier when on a shift “out the back” you could chat to your team member and support each other through the day and of course animals never gave off the same emotional attack humans did.

Being on shift on “the front line” I was an emotional sponge for up to 100 people a day I would go home with migraines and started to have night terrors, you could feel the emotions of up to 30 people in one waiting room once a client leaves another would turn up for a appointment.

The same would happen on a night shift with the constant emergency calls.

I have always been an emotional person I cry a drop of a hat, I am sensitive !

One day I spoke to my parents I told them that when someone is in emotional pain I instantly feel their pain, it wasn’t the saying “ow I feel bad for you” I had terrible pains in my chest, it would be a person walking by I don’t know and I would feel this pain when I look at them. I would sense if the person was troubled.

I could also tell you when a certain person is fake and not genuine, the amount of times no one has believed me about “their new friend” who then turns out not a very good person.

Thats when my dad told me I am an empath, call it what you want sensitive or overly emotional i’m going to find the positives in being one.

My sweet Nan and Dad pictured below.