Tag mentalhealth

Getting diagnosed with Crohn’s disease.

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After my colonoscopy on the left, wearing the pill cam device after swallowing a camera on the right.

I hope by just writing this blog I bring awareness of Crohn’s disease IBD (irritable bowel disease) which is an auto immune disease that affects the immune system by over reacting causing ulcers anywhere between your mouth down your digestive tract to your anus. Symptoms include diarrhea,vomiting, constipation, fatigue, weight gain/loss, loss of appetite, mucous or blood in your stools, anemia, anxiety, depression, accidents, joint pain, eye problems and eating disorders.

I always had digestive issues since a small child, it was always put down to Food intolerance and stress. But looking back the symptoms were there. Back in 2020 my body was suffering from alot of stress and grief which I believe triggered a big flare up which led to my diagnosis in 2021. I had always just dealt with my symptoms myself but after dropping alot of weight in a small amount of time I decided to reach for help, when I told my Dr about my symptoms he ordered a stool sample which came back with high inflammation levels which indicates inflammation someone in my digestive system. from there I was referred to digestive diseases for some further diagnostic treatments.

It didn’t seem much but these trousers were new and actually too small for me untill couple months later they were to big.

To diagnose a digestive disease lots of tests and procedures have to be done, unfortunately the digestive tract isn’t easy to reach without being invasive.

Just to name a few tests I had multiple Colonoscopies and biopsies taken from my colon, I had an MRI dye test which showed inflammation in my small bowel then a endoscopy pill cam which you swallow and it records a video from your mouth to reach your small bowel.

The results came back from the pill cam showing ulcers scattered around my small bowel and it was then confirmed as Crohn’s disease.

After this I had lots more blood tests done this was to check I was healthy enough to start medication. these drugs are immunosuppressant which are widely used for other auto immune diseases and chemo therapy for cancer patients. It is used to calm your immune system down to stop it from attacking itself. So when you are put of these drugs your immune system is supressed making you at higher risk of flu, virus ,colds and infections.

Unfortunately with these drugs come side effects which can be nasty such as vomiting, migraines , joint pain, pancreatitis and skin cancer. You have blood tests done on the 2nd week, 4th week, 8th week and so on to make sure your body is tolerating the medicine.

I was told when I start I may feel like a have the flu for a couple of weeks.

Unfortunately for me I tried the 1st medication for 12 weeks and had terrible side affects, I had joint pains, migraines, my appetite was gone and my hair was falling out. Due to this they took my off the medicine.

I then went on to try different doses of the same medication with a combination of other drugs but my body was rejecting it and each time I got worse. The last medicine caused me to vomit and have extreme nausea I couldn’t get out my bed to wash or brush my teeth so I was taken off the medicine. At this current time I am waiting to start my 4th type of medication it’s a long journey for me to find the right treatment. For many they tolerate the medication well but unfortunately for some the side affects are strong. It’s a gamble the Dr have to make to find the right treatment for you.

Due to trying so many drugs and constantly feeling unwell my mental health has suffered, if your someone who is has just been diagnosed I’d advise seeking therapy to prepare you for your journey to help you be kind to yourself if treatments fail or find trying new things overwhelming.

Surround yourself with your friends and family and be open about your experience with it. Join a forum and find others who have the same disease as you so you can connect and ask questions.

I hope in the future to find a treatment right for me and come back stronger than ever.

In my next blog I will dive deeper into the affects IBD has on work, social life and relationship’s.

Healing

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Healing

I feel the need to write and share without the fear of judgement of others. I am healing, I’m learning to regulate my emotions, recognizing past traumas, habits and limiting thoughts. I feel like I’m breaking the chain of generational traumas, poverty and pain.

My family, my parents, grandparents, ancestors they all survived a lot of things that may feel so long ago that it barley affects you. But it does trauma and beliefs can be inherited to the next generation it stays stored in your nervous system preventing the new generation from success and happiness but instead just teaches them survival flight, fight, freeze.

I’m giving myself permission to live now I don’t need to survive anymore. I honour and respect the pain I have experienced these last year’s that be loss, grief, unsafe, scared. But as a human I must move forward with my emotions. Emotions are not just in the brain but also in your body. IBS, auto immune diseases, fibromyalgia. It’s all linked you cannot lie to your nervous system.

Your over active nervous system has been in the driver’s seat maybe since the moment you were born, your instinctual reptilian brain sensed danger or chaos. Your parents couldn’t regulate their own emotion’s or you were exposed to an event no one would even think it affected you.

It’s important to move in these times of releasing old traumas let your body feel the pain don’t avoid it. Let it move through your body and leave. Emotional pain won’t kill you. But I believe stored trauma can.

I have unfortunately watched quite a few loved ones leave mine and my partners life. By that I mean passing away. Pretty much the whole of my partners family are gone. I believe that a few reasons were unresolved traumas stored in the body causing the nervous system to over load compromising the immune system.

After watching that happen within a space of 10 years I promised myself I didn’t want to carry this into the next generation. I’m cutting the chord/chain so that me and my partner can live happily even after trauma and loss.

So that when we are ready for children they won’t be born into generational traumas like ourselves.

Be brave acknowledge your pain and let go of stored trauma in your body. If you are interested look at somatic therapy.

You have made it this far in life your body and mind just needs reminding.

Take care,

Layla.

Why connecting with nature is important.

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If you are able to spare a few coins a month joining your local wildlife trust is very beneficial, I recently joined the Sussex wildlife trust and by becoming a member you are helping the charity educate the public and protect our wildlife conservation.

A lot of people live a fast paced lifestyle meaning more and more of us are spending less time out in nature, which in fact is very unnatural for us and has impacted the environment and ecosystem massively.

We all seem to be stuck in the digital world disconnecting us from the impact of what is really happening around us.

If anyone is best to explain this it would be Sir David Attenborough.

Sometimes we need reminding that we are indeed animals too, we have needs like your pet does and when those enrichments are taken away a lot of us suffer mentally. I’m not saying we are like cats or dogs but just reminding you we are not robots and living in a digital world can disconnect us from our senses.

Not only that nature needs us to help restore the damage we have caused e.g Deforestation, polluting our oceans and check out our animal endangered list it is happening in the uk and all around the world.

The house sparrow I pictured above from my garden is a species in decline. Most of the time this happens because of the effects of humans.

I have always been connected with nature it’s drummed in to me, I understand not everyone has that and it’s fine.

So I want to help those who are not connected to understand why nature is so important.

It won’t hurt I promise 🤣

Now I don’t expect everyone to be the next bear grylls but one small change can still impact your local wildlife conservation.

So I’m going to make a few articles explaining what changes we can make to help nature and how we can slow our lifestyle down.

Thank you for reading Laylasgardendiaries.