Learning how to fit into a society with crippling anxiety is draining , somedays every thought it consumed by your other self who whispers irrational ideas in your head , creates paranoia and self doubt.
Anxiety is not what society typically describes as your panic attack scenario, it creeps out in other ways, you can forget who your true self is when your anxiety infests your brain like a parasite.
Some people have anxiety due to trauma , some people have anxiety that comes along with depression, some people suffer with it every day and some may suffer from anxiety for just one day.
It is different for every indiviual.
They tell you “do breathing exercises , eat healthier , get to bed early and don’t drink caffeine” you can invest all the time in the world reading self help books, meditate , exercise and stay away from negative people.
You know you can improve your anxiety but its there for life it may come to stay for just a while then leave again. You can feel so alone all your friends are moving forward they have their lives under control but what about mine?
You feel guilty that you have no reason to feel this way, your life is good and you should be grateful for all you have.
You make your self ill with worry and your body listens , your immune system is low and you are exhausted from the insomnia.
This is how I often feel , I know their are other young people like me and I hope just expressing how it feels to be suffering from anxiety alleviates you when you feel alone.
I have quit two job’s because the environment was not helping my mental health , I have gone without money because I know my sanity is more important.
My big step to recovery is excepting that this is who I am , I except I cannot work in certain environments, I except that working long hours does not benefit me, I except that I need help and support from professionals and I am very lucky to have the support from my partner, family and friends.
My next step is finding the Job that will save me from my own anxiety disorder.